Topsy Turvy Page 01
Author of “Around the World in Eighty Days,”
“Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea,”
Copyright, 1890 by J.G.Ogilvie
SEASIDE PUBLISHING COMPANY
142-144 Worth Street
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER I IN WHICH THE NORTH POLAR PRACTICAL ASSOCIATION RUSHES A DOCUMENT ACROSS TWO WORLDS CHAPTER II IN WHICH THE DELEGATES FROM ENGLAND, HOLLAND, SWEDEN, DENMARK AND RUSSIA ARE PRESENTED TO THE READER CHAPTER III IN WHICH THE ARCTIC REGIONS ARE SOLD AT AUCTION TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER CHAPTER IV IN WHICH OLD ACQUAINTANCES APPEAR TO OUR NEW READERS, AND IN WHICH A WONDERFUL MAN IS DESCRIBED CHAPTER V IN WHICH THE POSSIBILITY THAT COAL MINES SURROUND THE NORTH POLE IS CONSIDERED CHAPTER VI IN WHICH A TELEPHONE COMMUNICATION BETWEEN MRS SCORBITT AND J. T. MASTON IS INTERRUPTED CHAPTER VII IN WHICH PRESIDENT BARBICANE SAYS NO MORE THAN SUITS HIS PURPOSE CHAPTER VIII YES, JUST LIKE JUPITER CHAPTER IX IN WHICH APPEARS THE FRENCH GENTLEMAN TO WHOM WE REFERRED AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS TRUTHFUL STORY CHAPTER X IN WHICH A LITTLE UNEASINESS BEGINS TO SHOW ITSELF CHAPTER XI WHAT WAS FOUND IN THE NOTEBOOK OF J. T. MASTON AND WHAT IT NO LONGER CONTAINED CHAPTER XII IN WHICH J. T. MASTON HEROICALLY CONTINUES TO BE SILENT CHAPTER XIII AT THE CLOSE OF WHICH JT MASTON UTTERS AN EPIGRAM CHAPTER XIV VERY SHORT, BUT IN WHICH "X" TAKES A GEOGRAPHICAL VALUE CHAPTER XV WHICH CONTAINS A FEW INTERESTING DETAILS FOR THE INHABITANTS OF THE EARTHLY SPHERE CHAPTER XVI IN WHICH A CROWD OF DISSATISFIED PEOPLE BREAK INTO THE CELL OF J. T. MASTON CHAPTER XVII WHAT HAD BEEN DONE AT KILIMANJARO DURING EIGHT MONTH OF THIS MEMORABLE YEAR CHAPTER XVIII IN WHICH THE POPULATION OF WAMASAI ASSEMBLE TO HEAR PRESIDENT BARBICANE SAY “FIRE” TO CAPT NICHOLL CHAPTER XIX IN WHICH J. T. MASTON REGRETS THAT THE CROWD DID NOT LYNCH HIM WHEN HE WAS IN PRISON CHAPTER XX IN WHICH THIS STORY, AS TRUTHFUL AS IT IS IMPROBABLE, IS FINISHED CHAPTER XXI VERY SHORT, SINCE ENOUGH HAS BEEN SAID TO MAKE THE WORLD'S POPULATION FEEL PERFECTLY SURE AGAIN
IN WHICH THE NORTH POLAR PRACTICAL ASSOCIATION RUSHES A DOCUMENT ACROSS TWO WORLDS
“Then Mr Maston, you pretend that a woman has never been able to make mathematical or experimental-science progress?”
“To my extreme regret, I am obliged to, Mrs. Scorbitt,” answered J.T. Maston.
“That there have been some very remarkable women in mathematics, especially in Russia, I fully and willingly agree with you. But, with her cerebral conformation, she cannot become an Archimedes, much less a Newton.”
“Oh, Mr. Maston, allow me to protest in the name of my sex.”
“A sex, Mrs. Scorbitt, much too charming to give itself up to the higher studies.”
“Well then, according to your opinion, no woman seeing an apple fall could have discovered the law of universal gravitation, so that it would have made her the most illustrious scientific person of the seventeenth century?”
“In seeing an apple fall, Mrs. Scorbitt, a woman would have but the single idea—to eat it—for example, our mother Eve.”
“Pshaw, I see very well that you deny us all aptitude for high speculations.”
“All aptitude? No, Mrs. Scorbitt, and in the meanwhile I would like to prove to you that since there are inhabitants on earth, and consequently women, there has not one feminine brain been found yet to which we owe any discoveries like those of Aristotle, Euclid, Kepler, Laplace, etc.”
“Is this a reason? And does the past always prove the future?”
“Well, a person who has done nothing in a thousand years, without a doubt, never will do anything.”
“I see now that I have to take our part, Mr. Maston, and that we are not worth much.”
“In regard to being worth something”—began Mr. Maston, with as much politeness as he could command.
But Mrs. Evangelina Scorbitt, who was perfectly willing to be satisfied, answered promptly: “Each one has his or her lot in this world.